Bugs bugs everywhere

With spring comes bugs. In our house we didn't wait for spring. In the last 6 months, we have been on bug overload around here. Since October, we have battled strep 3 times, swine flu, pneumonia, and bronchitis. More than our share of runny noses and coughs too.

But in the last 2 days, we have battled brand new bugs. Since yesterday, my computer keeps popping up an alert from McAfee that a trojan has been automatically blocked and removed. And I mean it is popping up every 4-8 seconds. So what does that mean? Does the trojan (whatever that is) keep trying to eat my computer? I've run 3 different virus scans and each time it happily says, "No viruses found!" I had an online chat with a McAfee specialist last night and was told it is a virus, to run the scans to double check and then pay them $89.95 to fix the virus. But what if the scans are saying the computer is clean? This is way out of my non-literate computer realm!

And then this morning, there was a "suspected case of lice" at my daughter's school. Two cases actually, a brother and a sister in different classes. My daughter is not in either of those classes, but each class rotates through the different rooms for craft, music, etc. However, today was my turn to volunteer and I was in the room where the girl was. Ugh.

Immediately upon finding out what was going on, I was itchy from head to toe. I mean, even my knee caps were itchy. I wasn't anywhere near the little girl, but what if those suckers can jump across a classroom? What if they can jump down the hallway and get my daughter?

We both have long hair so I am a nervous wreck. Clothes are in the washer; we headed straight to the shower. I used the hairdryer on both of us - for way longer than I needed to. Those things hate heat, I thought. My daughter kept bugging me, "Mommy, it is hot, how much longer?" and I just kept drying her already-dry-hair. I'm sure both of us need about 6 inches cut off the ends now from me frying our hair for too long. Then I thought, "Alcohol. Everything hates alcohol." So I squirted hairspray all over my hair. Checked to make sure it actually has alcohol - first ingredient. Yippee. Squirted some more. Got down to the roots and squirted some more. Looked at my daughter but spared her 3 year old hair from the hairspray. Nevermind the fact that if the bugs do appear on me, I'll never see them since I am now sporting a birds-nest-do. Birds nests are in style now, right? It is spring after all!

Last year when my son was in kindergarten, we got the dreaded lice letter 3 times. Luckily, he never got it. But getting itchy about all this today took me back about a year....

We were having a nice family dinner in Pizza Hut. Our son was proudly using his Book-It to get his free pizza. It was quite crowded. Suddenly, I look at his hair and I gasp. I look around to make sure no one is looking at me (didn't know how loud that gasp was) - and then I quietly lean across the table and had this converstion with my husband:

Me: "Uh, honey - I think we have a MAJOR problem."
Him: "Why, what's wrong?"
Me: "I think he has lice. Like millions of them."
Him: "Seriously?"
Me: "Yes, all over the back of his head. What do they look like?"
Him: "I don't know, I've never seen them."
Me: "Are they yellowish-white?"
Him: "Yeah, I think so."
Me: "Crap." I wonder if I should feel his head.
Him: "Well don't they say you can't pick them out without a special comb?"
Me: "Yeah, I think that's what that letter said."
Him: "Well, see if you can pick them out."
Me: "Seriously? You want me to touch that crap?" I'm wondering how he read my mind and I am now completely itchy from head to toe.
Him: "What else is there to do?"
Me: "I don't know, there's got to be something."
Him: "Just see if you can get them out."
Of course I am the lucky one sitting by him.
Me: "Crap." I reach up, my hand pulls away from his head, I talk myself into it and slowly touch his head. "It is coming off."
Him: "Seriously?"
Me: "Yes, it is just brushing right off."
Him: "Luke, let me see your hands."
He shows his dad his hands, he is covered in that breadstick cheesy stuff they put on top of it.
We both sighed a huge sigh of relief.

Who said parenting isn't hard?