Monday, May 16, 2011

My life is a toilet

Just when I think I'm actually going to do something productive today - like dust my now-gray furniture, I'm reminded that my *real* job is much more exciting than that. I get to clean bathrooms, like totally nonstop! Yahooey!

I'm not sure why I clean the bathrooms, actually. They're just going to get dirty again in 5 minutes anyway. Can they even be considered sanitary if they're only clean for 5 minutes - tops?

I have two things going against my wanna be clean bathrooms: an 8 year old boy and an almost 14 year old dog. I am learning about this boy gene - but seriously, is it really that hard to actually aim?!?!

And the dog. My poor, old, "first born". She is starting to have accidents in the house. And they're always in the bathroom. Go figure. Don't get me wrong - I'm glad she goes where it's easy to clean, but does she seriously forget to go outside??

Not to mention the amount of snot I wipe in a day. Or someone wet their bed - again. Or someone's nose / arm / foot / finger is bleeding. Again. Or someone stepped in dog poop - outside of course ;) (So far we haven't had any casualities of stepping in dog poop in the house - yet!) Or a dog threw up. Or someone needs a butt wiped. Or someone spilled a juice box - or a whole box of snacks. Yes, sometimes in the bathroom. How does that happen?!?!? Or someone didn't make it to the bathroom. Again. It just comes out so fast sometimes, you know! Or someone assumingly rolled in a mud puddle, including getting every strand of hair muddy - but they don't know how it happened! I promise! Dog or child. Yes, the dogs give me excuses too. Just look at those puppy dog eyes... both on the furballs and the kids.

And yet although my life is a toilet, I have never been happier. I love being a mom. I have no brain cells left - I promise I have a B.S. degree - and not that kind!!! I say the same thing 20 times a day, the laundry is never ending, and the sweeper gets a daily workout - unlike me. I'm lucky if I dry my hair most days.

I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I actually got a compliment the other day. A good friend asked my why I was "all done up" that day. I had my hair twisted in an updo, with a claw clip. If I would've let it down, it would probably still be wet under there. I think she was just flattering me because she's a mom too - but she said she wasn't.

I guess I wear this mom thing okay :)

Well, maybe it was the makeup or the shoes - it really is amazing what lipstick and sassy shoes will do to my day - but seriously, wet hair in a claw clip?

I can think of worse things.... like 20 years from now when my house is cleaned in 10 minutes flat, but there are no boo-boos to kiss or messes to clean.

Yeah, I'll take wet hair and a messy bathroom anyday.

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