I had an a-ha moment. Maybe I'll blame it on the Chinese restaurant we went to last night. Luke's fortune cookie said something about listening to all the voices and getting frustrated. I wish I could remember exactly what it said, but.... Well, that was SO last night. ha.
So I started thinking. Everyone is always telling Luke what to do. Us, the grandparents, his teachers, his coaches... "Do this, don't do that." Poor Luke. What does HE want?
I wouldn't listen to a bunch of people telling me what to do, so why do I expect him to? Yes, I can argue that we're the parents and he's the child and that's what children should do - but I don't want to be a dictator either.
I want that loving relationship where we can encourage them to be all they can be.
So we had "the talk".
It was a rare quiet moment with the 4 of us. So I said, "I've been thinking. I want you both to think about what kind of person you want to be when you grow up - and daddy and I can help you become that person. Do you want to be kind? Do you want to be funny? Do you want to help others? Do you want others to respect you? Don't think about WHAT you want to be, think about WHO you want to be."
Dead silence. 'Oh good, they're thinking,' I think.
Then the silence was broken.
"I want to be a cat" says Emma.
"Very funny, Emma," I say, "I'm serious. What kind of person do you want to be?"
"Okay, Emma. I know this is a hard question, so you can think about it and you don't have to answer me right now."
"I said meow. I only meow now mommy. Meow meow meow MEOW!"
Then Luke says, "I know what kind of person I want to be, mommy!"
"Oh good Luke," I say, as I am clearly proven to be the biggest idiot on the planet. "What kind of person do you want to be when you grow up?"
"This kind!" as he turns around, sticks his butt up in the air and starts spanking himself. "Oh, yeah, look at me, I'm a grown up! Oh yeah, how do you like me now?" spank spank spank.
The spanker and the meower are now completely hysterical. Meow. Spank. Meow. "Oh yeah!" spank.
To my future daughter-in-law and son-in-law: I'm sorry. I tried. Really I did.